Trying To Trick The Boss
by Eurythmatix
Summary: When you want to play dirty with Gibbs through email, sometimes it's just gonna end with you being whacked silly.


**Name**: Janey Kay Roberts

**Summary**: On a tiresome day DiNozzo decides to play a prank on Gibbs, sending him random sexy emails to try to get him to play dirty. It all ends in good time with him getting whacked several times across the head.

**POV**: Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo

**Type:** One-shot

**xXxXxXxXxXXxx**

The timing was perfect, so perfect that I couldn't help but stifle a laugh as I stared at my computer screen. He was sitting at his desk and he was idle. Bringing up a blank message, I tagged Gibbs in it and sat back, wondering if I should do what I had planned to do. I leant back and sighed, my eyes moving from him to the monitor. And as if my mind had suddenly had a heat wave, I jerked forward and began to type excitedly, my fingers dancing over the keyboard and my eyes were flashing as I did.

**Give me one good reason why I shouldn't spank you, Leroy Jethro Gibbs.**

I hit send and then pulled a folder towards me as I noticed from the corner of my eye that Vance had entered the bullpen. Toothpick in mouth he surveyed the rest of us and headed to Gibbs desk, kind of like in some hurry.

There was a report for me to write: one that entailed the death of a Marine that was killed by her jealous girlfriend. See I loved these kind of cases where we could get all the chick excitement we wanted...well I wanted. Ziva had become tired of the wild goose chase, narrowing down old boyfriends and past lovers and no one suspected the geeky bookworm who sat next to the victim in the cafeteria during lunch time.

Well times were different now. I wasn't really in love with Gibbs but I loved to torment his ass as much as I could because it was the only way I could get payback for him slapping me like if I was a tit or something. Kind of a bad link there eh? Well I always wondered how he was like when he made love to women. What the hell did he do? I mean with a weird hairstyle like that, you had to pity the guy.

And now he was staring at his computer screen whilst Vance lectured him on something that wasn't really important to me at the moment. Using my gut instinct I knew that Gibbs understood how to open an email. He usually did when Abby sent him or when I sent him one using my original email address. But this one was different. I had created a new one titled 'Rosy Redhead' and I knew it would get his attention. See I got this picture with this lovely big breast woman that was splayed all across a lovely wine coloured sofa with nothing on but her birth suit.

Gibbs would love that.

Seeing him typing away, or rather taking a keystroke per minute I continued to read nothing in particular.

**Gibbs: Do I know you and how did you get my email address?**

I had to make my moves as inconspicuous as possible so that if he looked over he wouldn't see me tapping away on my keyboard right after he sent the message. So as foxy as I could, I typed a reply and sent it.

**Oh you know me Gibbs. I love to play dirty. Let's play house. **

I could have sworn that I heard him laugh softly. And my head snapped up to look in his direction only to see him glowering at the computer screen. Ziva couldn't notice anything because she was knocked out cold on her desk, her lips moving as she probably dreamt about some hot and dirty Israeli man. Lucky for her Gibbs was occupied at the moment and couldn't see her enjoying her slumber on the job.

**Gibbs: Don't know how to play dirty.**

It was my turn to laugh. The old sod. Of course he didn't know how to play dirty because he had probably been expired for more than a year now. How olddd was he? I had been wondering the same thing for years now and couldn't get an answer.

**Oh right Gibbs. I can teach you. Why don't we start by picturing a bed in our minds then we can take each other's clothes off. Which article of clothing you want me to take off first?**

It seemed like a nice idea and I couldn't help but smile wickedly down at my hands.

**Gibbs: I will not participate in this kind of conversation. **

Say what? No Gibbs! No!

**Why not? You prefer skin to skin? **

There was no reply for more than ten minutes and I was getting agitated. So feeling desperate I thought up of something wicked. I would make it sound as if McGee, or Ziva or maybe Abby was sending him these messages.

**Gibbs I've known you for a long time and I have been watching you from afar. It is time to get dirty because I want you oh so bad. Let's writhe nakedly under the stars.**

As his eyes scanned the area around him I took my time to slowly open my drawer, biting my cheeks, and I took out my stapler. My eyes never met his as he looked from Ziva to McGee and then to me. You know the thing with me is that I can be observant when I want to. On certain occasions I just couldn't see everything that was in front of me. Stupid me.

That's why when I felt his eyes on me a little too long I looked up. He was glaring at me and I felt my body freeze up. It was then that I looked around and saw that McGee wasn't at his desk: he had been in the lab with Abby for about an hour now as I suddenly remembered. And Ziva was still sleeping.

Gibbs sprang up from his chair and came striding towards me, his lips thin and his eyes dancing with either anger or excitement. Head slap time.

Taking up my coat he bundled it up and began to whack me with it: across my head and my body as I held out my arms and squeaked. Between the lashes I saw Ziva spring up and she stared wide eyed at Gibbs then me. And as if nothing was happening she smiled, purred and rested her head back down.

''.DiNozzo?'

'No, boss!'

''...me? Don'..?'

'Yes boss!'

'Then get on with it!' he ordered and threw the coat back down on my desk. Giving me one last glare he went back to his desk then turned around.

I immediately got up and began to back away. 'Boss I –'

'Ziva! Get your gun out! We're being attacked!' he yelled and slapped his hand on her desk.

'Here! Here!' Ziva grabbed her gun and sprang up, her eyes darting about and her gun pointed ready to shoot.

'Thought you were', he said smiling then looked at me, 'Rosy Redhead get my paperwork done!'

**A/N – Geese was just idle and wanted to type up a story. Review please!**


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